Oh those legs of mine

They still don't let me sleep.

They don't twitch anymore as far as I can tell... But they are still quite restless and a bit achy. But most of all, they itch!

It seems that my legs are going through the whole "falling asleep and waking up" process. Earlier on they felt like a limb does when it has just woken up, very nasty to move around because even the slightest movement send electric jolts though the limb. And when the blood circulation is restored somewhat the feeling of needles comes in.

And the paresthesia is what has been going around for several hours now.

Gah...

And the result are in

At least one kind of... My hemoglobin level was 10,6 g/dl. No wonder I feel "a bit" weak, tired, disoriented etc.

According to Wikipedia the value should be somewhere between 13,5 to 16,5 g/dl. Congratulations Turkka! You are anemic!

And what are the symptoms of anemia?
Symptoms common to many types of anemia include the following:

• Easy fatigue and loss of energy (check)
  
• Unusually rapid heart beat, particularly with exercise
• Shortness of breath and headache, particularly with exercise (check, at least the headache part)
  
• Difficulty concentrating (check)
  
• Dizziness (check)
  
• Pale skin
• Leg cramps (check)
  
• Insomnia (check)

Interestingly enough I have always had quite low level of hemoglobin and I have had lack of energy, dizziness and especialy insomnia for quite some time. Insomnia actually just about as long as I can remember.

I've had my hemoglobin levels checked every now and then (usually with the periodic checkup for my MS medication) and never has it been this low...

Aaand back to bed

The restlessness has eased up for now if not, unfortunatelly, gone completely away either.

I wish I can sleep now...

I didn't want to sleep in the first place...

there I was sleeping blissfully away... And all of sudden my left leg decides to twitch. Not just a little but falling short of a kick just barely. I don't know if the leg had been twitching earlier in the night but now I was awake.

Not letting one strong twitch bother me I decided to keep on sleeping. But the leg had oter ideas. It twitched again, twice, thrice... I try keep on sleeping, the leg twitches more.

Ahhh, crap.

Up I am again, feeling tired as hell but also feeling the left knee having signs of restlessness.

So I decided to Google a bit. And through the links I go. Restless Leg Syndrome seems to dominate the results and helpguide.org seemed to be as good a place for studies as any with the article on RLS. Reading through the article however revealed an even more interesting theory for me. Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (PLMD). After a bit of reasearch I found that SleepEducation.com has a good article about it. eMedicineHealth provides a long article on PLMD and reading it at the very moment feels like too much work when all I want to do is sleep...

In a nutshell those articles have couple of good points.

One being that there seems to be link with PLMD and MS even if there is not much of data to support this. The other being that some antidepressants are thought to cause PLMS (milder form of PLMD) or making it worse; I quite recently ran out of my SSRI meds.

I'll have to remember to call my doctor to ask for the renewal of the prescription and for a little help and advice on what to do in the meanwhile.

Ah well..

Back to bed... I am so tired that I am quite sure the restless leg is not going to disturb me that much...

Up at odd hours again

For couple of days now I have had this strange dizzy feeling. You know the kind that you occasionaly have when getting up too quick. Only that for me this time these dizzy feelings can hit when I am just sitting. Or laying down. Or walking. Or just turning my head.

This worries me and makes me think if my MS is acting up again... If I am hitting a relapse...

And as if that was not enough my left knee decided to start being restless. And aching. I cannot fall asleep. I feel like I need to move my left leg every couple of minutes.

This... Sucks.

Tan lines

Aren't they nice?


In case the picture is not good enough: I have many, many blisters from the sunburns.

The view from the balcony

Also, experimenting a little with the panorama picture functionality of my camera:

The first evening and the following morning

We had a little late night snack yesterday at the Poolside Bar & Restaurant. Such a nice ambience and atmosphere there. Waves crashing to the shore down below and the ambient music played in the speaker system. Ahh, such a relaxation of mind! I do think we will spend quite many evenings/nights there having a mocktail or two before heading to bed.

And today morning we had breakfast at the same place. Tea, omelette, guava juice, fresh fruits and some pancakes. Yummy and my tummy approves!

And here we are

Arrived safely first to Bangkok and then to Phuket. This hotel we are staying at, Cape Sienna, is quite remarkable. I will attach a couple of pictures here to give you guys some kind of idea:


This is the main room. Nothing much but the bed, sofa and alcove with entry to shower and toilet.

On the balcony then...

Well, okay. The chairs have a nice view to the bay and Kamala Beach, but you will have to wait for the photos of the view until tomorrow, it is too dark already for scenery photography.

But the main thing on the balcony:

A very own jacuzzi! Yay!

P.S. My apologies for the sizes of the photos. I will use jpeg next time.

Next steps

1) Off to the airport in a short while.
2) 2 weeks of nice and relaxing vacation in Thailand.
3) Back to Finland
4) Sort out how to handle the three weeks of vacation time from this day onwards.

Why the step 4? Well... Due to the economic situation my contract with my current company got terminated. Effective today with one month of notice period. Since I have been one week on the vacation now out of my four weeks it would mean that there are 3 weeks of unspent vacation time. Yes, I will stay "home" for those three weeks but I still have to work out if I am entitled to have them compensated with money. Additionaly the unpent winter vacation and the accumulated vacation days for today.

This is not the end. This is merely a new beginning.

5) Start full blown work to get my own company up and running.

Business plan is there, a clear concept is there, needed partners are there. All that really still needs to be done is to get the company website to be representable and get some customers.

6) Laugh all the way to the bank once the company is properly operational.
7) Have a good life full of laughter, joy, beautiful people and love!

Medical Experiments

As I am preparing for my vacation trip to Thailand I decided to make a little experiment on my medication schedule. I took my medication today at approximately 13:00 while I usualle take it before going to bed. To my dread the injection timetable stated that it would be stomach injections turn. Stomach injections as I hope have perviously stated cause the worst side effectes for me.

After about an hour of the injections the side effects started to home in in form of drowsiness. I felt soooooo tired and was about to fall asleep every now and then. After about hour and a half the first symptoms of fever started to hit but luckily they weren't so bad, the fever med I took after the injection seem to be helping. After two and a half hours my brain started to feel like it was on a cotton cushion.

Not that bad considering the first time I had my meds waaaaay back the injection was too made into my stomach. Then I had no fever meds to counter the side effects so they hit me really hard then. Also the first time around for the body meant that I hadn't gotten accustomed to the meds yet.  Back then the side effect gave me restless feet making me unable to stay still which was very annoying. I do believe I had the feverlike symptoms too but cannot remember for sure.

Anyways the conclusions of this experiment are:
1) I can take my meds early on Tuesday too to avoid the hassle of injection in the accustomed time and the fact of plane departing at about 23.

2) It is not really that necessary for me to take the meds before going to bed. Let us see how I sleep the coming night. Perhaps a little better than usually after the meds?

Stay tuned, I hope to remember to let you know.

Just a thought

Two weeks from now, I will be in Thailand!

The juggling statue

Yesterday while strolling around the town I came across this lovely statue. Only that it was not quite ordinary statue. Watch and see!

Scanner of my heart

Scanner of your heart (Izismile.com)




1. Your choice symbolizes a person whom you could like in real life situations.
Sheep – Obedient, don’t like conflicts.
2. Your choice symbolizes the impression that you want to have on people.
Cat - Elegance, grace.
3. Your choice symbolizes a behavior that would make you finish your relationship with your partner (beloved one).
Crocodile - Cruelty (ruthlessness) of your partner.
4. Your choice symbolizes a type of relationship that you would like to have with your partner (beloved one).
Bird - Your goal - long-term relationship.
5. Your choice shows if you are capable to cheat.
Person - it is unlikely that you cheat.
6. Your choice shows your attitude to marriage.
Bengal tiger- For you, marriage is something very precious, when you get married, you will greatly appreciate your marriage and your other half.
7. Your choice shows your attitude to love.
Lion - you always want to be in love, you are ready to do anything for this.




I hope I don’t have to explain that the test is having a comic aspect, take it with humor

Take the test again!

My 15 minutes of fame

See if you can spot me and my wife.

The choice is yours

If I were told (and to be honest I was) a week ago that being happy is a matter of choice I wouldn't have believed. With such a screwed up life I have had and the problematic mental state one just cannot choose to be happy!

Well, I was wrong.

For the past two day I have been practically smiling non-stop. If not always physically at least mentally. I do not quite remember when I have been this happy this long.

I have seen the light and now it truly is up to me if I let that light dim again or not.

My medication 101

Every now and then I need to explain my medication to friends of mine and every single time I seem to be forgetting to tell something. I try to collect all the relevant info here and add to this "list" when ever I remember more so I can either reference this post or direct people to read this when needed.

My main medication for MS is interferon beta-1a, Rebif of which I use the 44 mg dosage. The medication is administered by sub dermal injection three times a week. The side effects I have are of course the tenderness of the injection area but the most significant one are the flu like symptoms then ensue the injection.

To fight off these I take paracetamol with after the injection. It takes the sharpest edge off. And to manage the symptoms better I inject my medication in the evening before going to bed to allow me to sleep through the symptoms.

Downside of this is that I tend to sleep badly when having the symptoms. This then, quite obviously, means that I am tired the next day. I could try to ensure to have better nights sleep by taking the injection, say, in the morning. But then it would mean me to suffer the symptoms fully may them be dulled as much as they are. The symptoms however include all the downsides of flu without actually having a flu. Risen body temperature, muscle aches, dizziness, restless leg syndrome and general discomfort just  to mention the most obvious ones to me.

This three times a week cycle then limits my free time activities quite considerably. After work I cannot actually go anywhere on the days I am taking my medication to prevent the injection timing to be quite late.

Thank you for your time, I will update the post at later time.

For all what it is worth...

Depression. Insomnia. Paranoia.

Boy do they get along together well!

The Priorities (Re-Revisited)

1. Me
2. Life (a big part of which is my wife)
3. -
   
4. Work
   

(Finally got it figured out.

This is where I am:

1. My wife
2. My work
3. Life
4. Myself

This is where I should be:

1. Life
2. Myself and my wife
3. My friends
4. My work
   

(Original post was:

1. My wife
2. My work
3. -
4. Me

I have a feeling that something in there needs to be sorted out a bit differently.))

An Educational Trip?

Some good people, some time and a trip to Khajuraho, India...

My other element

There are times when a song seems to tell the things quite right

On the Facebook usage

I think I have set my Facebook account in such a way that my blog posts are displayed there somehow. I just am not quite able to see them myself. If anyone sees this post in FB, please drop me a comment here, thank you.

Ahem, yes, had a discontinuation of thought flow here...

I am quite seriously thinking of quitting the Facebook usage. But for now it is the only way for me to keep in contact with couple of my new found friends. I do appreciate those friends too much to drop out of contact all together.

I could keep up the contact with e.g. email, but I do not quite see myself writing emails in the same manner as those short notes in FB. Actually sending such a short messages in email would feel quite awkward.

So I am sort of hoping that maybe those friends I want to keep posted about my going ons would find this blog of mine. And I am hoping that that would also act as an incentive for myself to keep on writing the entries.

"What would you want to remember me by?"

For some reason this is the question that has been hovering in my mind recently.

I have no idea where it came from since I am not going anywhere.

Oh well, no matter for the reason, it still is quite an interesting question actually. The answer would tell me what people are, sort of, expecting from me. On the other hand it is a question I do not want to have an answer.

I want to make my own way here and do not want to be steered by other peoples expectations, thank you.

Wonders of the fragile human mind

I know that I am a difficult and contradictory person. Even for myself.

I take my work seriously and take pride from what I am able to contribute. I have had my fair share of recognition too. But if someone as much as hints something negative of my contribution I do get the feeling of being scolded. No matter if I know that the comment was meant as a humorous one.

That just happened to me (again) and even though I am trying to convince myself that it was a joke, I feel bad. I feel like I am not performing well enough. That I do not meet the expectations. That I am no good.

I know my feelings in this case are wrong, but...

I want to cry.

Music for a weary day

Rune - Calabria

There is also a version for weary eye:

☆ Alex Gaudino - Destination Calabria (HQ Download!) ☆

ScribeFire

One of the biggest issues for my blogging has been the effort to do so. With ScribeFire this no longer is an issue. With a simple press of F8 I get a editing window for my blog and off I go. Simply genius...

ScribeFire has some nifty features too to easily share the things found on the web in your blog (for example). Never has blogging been this easy for me. Hopefully I am able to get the thing back on the roll again.